Saturday, February 26, 2011

To ski or not to ski

Don't get me wrong. I honestly don't hate people who happen to go skiing in the Alps for a week. (Maybe I'm secretly a little jealous of you!) It's just that to hear some French people talk, a skiing trip in late winter is a birthright. We have to watch report after report of people frolicking in the snow all winter. I just don't feel like hearing about your trip afterwards. Here are a few reasons why:

1. I don't want to know how great the weather was. That brilliant blue sky at three thousand feet and the fresh powdery snow. How you ate fondue outside on the balcony and even got a tan. More than likely I'll have been experiencing more of the monotonous grey weather I've become accustomed to down here at 0 feet elevation. No barbecue outside for us in late February. So, just keep it to yourselves, please.

2. I don't know the difference between all those different slopes and the color-coding and what not. I only know the bunny slope is probably the place I would start and never leave if I ever ski. Which more than likely won't happen because I'm an 11 on a Clumsy Scale of one to ten. Which brings me to reason #3.

3. Skiing is dangerous. Ok, so it's not really a reason, but my personal observation. I've heard quite a few stories about people who've broken their legs the first time out. And unfortunately there have been some tragic situations of children getting in accidents on the various ski machinery or bumping their heads during a fall. Please wear a helmet out there and make sure your backpack doesn't get stuck on the ski lift.

4. I don't know all the vocabulary to describe the above contraptions to transport your skis and you and whatever is necessary up there on the mountains. It's a nightmare when my students look at me questioningly for a translation of "tire-fesses", literally a "butt puller"?! In fact it's just another name for a ski lift, but look how you distracted me with that one.

5. Because it seems everybody and their brother goes skiing (and if they have children it must be in the school holidays), a number of shops and services close in my neighborhood. That's why this morning I had to go to a different doctor to get my fever-inducing cold looked at. Then backtrack (in the rain) to my regular pharmacy that luckily doesn't close till this evening at 6 for their own annual winter holidays week.

Sorry for that rant. I didn't mean to be hard on you powder-loving folks. As I said, maybe I kind of want to be you one day. But I'd opt for snow-shoeing instead of skiing and I'd probably go to one of the smaller family-friendly stations. And I wouldn't gloat about how energetic I felt afterwards (ok, not that much).

4 comments:

Crystal said...

oh I understand what you mean! All my well-to-do students go skiing then tell me ALL about it. The weather here in Paris is the same as in the North, so I'm not too eager to hear all about the fresh mountain air and blue skies either!

I hate skiing and will likely never try it again, even if I move to the Alps. I'm definitely more of a snow shoe/toboggan kind of girl!

Hope you are feeling better.

P.S. the simple tire-fesses thing is called a 'T-Bar' in English because of its shape ;)

Emmy said...

i hate that i didn't know how to say tire-fesse in english either. as for skiing, pfff, the closest i'd get to a winter holiday in the alps is the evening fondu or raclette!

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

I know exactly what you mean. Haha when people start talking about it my eyes just glaze over...

Oneika said...

I never really liked skiing, but this is probably due to the fact that the one and only time I went (I was 13 and on s school field trip) I hit a wall because I didn't know how to stop... LOL.. And even beyond that, I HATE the cold, so outside winter sports are a no-no for me!!