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Sunday, May 24, 2020

The one word that means so much

I was talking with a couple my husband knows who both worked non-stop in their large supermarket during the lockdown period.  The wife is a cashier and had to wear gloves and a mask and visor, sitting behind her plexiglas shield.  I asked her if it was hard facing the virus (potentially) and working while others stayed at home.  She replied right away.  "No.  Because I had a reason to get up every day."

I almost took it as a rebuke but knew she didn't mean it that way.  Instead I agreed sincerely, because I was lucky to have realized quite quickly during this lockdown what I needed to get out of bed every morning.  One word that can change everything in your day.  In your life.  Motivation.

When you are motivated, or more precisely, when you have a goal each day, waking up is the first step on your fabulous journey.  It can be a goal in your house like organizing that problem corner in the living room or cleaning the windows, but what worked best for me were creative goals.

After a week or so of sleeping late-ish (and when I had my small bout with the virus I did rest more), I started, wait for it... setting my alarm!  I made myself get up at least by 8 and more often 7:30 before the kids were up.  (Ok, granted, that is not super early by some people's standards!) 

At first it was out of necessity.  The intranet site for downloading homework for my daughter was saturated at other times of the day.  So I connected early and printed out her homework. But after that I kept the habit and used that time to do something I wanted to do or at least something creative.

I started making quizzes for my company's Facebook page to hopefully help attract customers in these slow times.  I wrote a blog post.  I edited a few videos on my iPhone for the library or friends.  I started my sillier than silly Glee parody videos.

And now I vary the activities.  Some days I water the plants before it gets too hot or I garden or weed in the front yard.  Or I watch one of my shows on Netflix that the kids don't like as much (Brooklyn 9-9) or that I shouldn't watch with them around (Outlander).

At other parts of the day we try to keep busy, too, while still allowing some chill time!  The kids and I planted climbing flower seeds and beans around our new bamboo tee-pee.  We planted seeds in toilet paper roll containers (Five Minute Crafts that Juliette watched!) to get them started before transplanting.  Juliette made a killer brownie recipe we had seen on TV.


Some days I may try a new recipe myself or make homemade hamburger buns for dinner.  I don't always do each of these things every day.  And if I get my little one to nap, I may nap too.  I help my big girl with her homework.  I try to read some myself when time allows.  But I certainly can't say I have been bored during lockdown and now post-lockdown.

I don't have time between household tasks, trying to do something creative, occasional recipes, gardening, constant toddler surveillance and de facto tutor to my middle schooler.  And honestly despite not being able to get out as much (especially during official lockdown), I have to say I have enjoyed this opportunity to explore hobbies I didn't have much time for before.  Most days I wake up pumped to get started on a new project or just get the house more liveable (endless, fruitless task, but I persist!).

Not every day is perfect and productive.  But I am happy to be drinking my first cup of cafĂ© au lait and listen to the birds as I type on my computer this morning.  And that's a start!

Tell me what motivates you these days! What are the tasks you still don't want to do?!

Saturday, May 9, 2020

When all this is over

"When all this is over" is a phrase I have heard myself saying these past six weeks of lockdown.  I say it to my daughter when she says she needs more art supplies from our favorite Dollar Tree equivalent store called Action.  I say it when I complain about the peeling paint on my garden table set and that I'd like a new set.  I say it about inviting the new neighbors or old friends for a barbecue.  I say it to my father-in-law about going to the coolest zoo ever (in my opinion) in Belgium, Pari Daiza, later this summer.  

Sometimes I say it in a dreamy way.  When all this is over we'll be able to go to the supermarket and take our time and not worry about wiping down our carts (ok, that probably won't be for a year at least- we'll still be wiping down carts for months to come!).  Or, when all this is over I will invite my friends for tea again.  

At other times I am almost apprehensive about getting back to my regular life.  When all this is truly over I will be back to a fairly intense job and travelling on the road during the day plus all the household and mothering duties.  Do I even remember how to manage it all?

I won't lie to you that when I learned the news in mid-March that school was suspended and daycares were closed, I was a little pumped.  Parents like me who had no alternatives could stay home and receive a stipend from the government, That later got transformed into furlough pay when my company closed temporarily.


This down-time would be a little respite from waking at six on some days, making sure my 11-year old was up by 6:50 and operational for when her schoolmate came by at 7:45 for their walk to school. Some days, depending on my schedule, I dropped Alex off at daycare at 7:30.  Then I drove around all over the place for my English classes, sometimes having a puny lunch in my car or just an apple, then picked Alex up at 4:45 on a good day or 6:20 on a long day.  Going to sleep just to start over again the next day.

When I woke on weekday mornings, I longed immediately for the weekend when I could sleep till 8 (if my husband didn't kindly remind me that I shouldn't sleep all day).  In the evenings as I rushed around making dinner and trying to spend a wee bit of quality time with the kids, I thought about Saturday and Sunday around the corner when we could take our time.

I used to joke that a month of Sundays (at least the lazing around the house type) would be dreamy.  Be careful what you wish for.  Though I am generally doing ok with this lockdown life, there are times it is very limiting and tensions rise at home.  The motivation to complete projects and do spring cleaning comes and goes.  I think watching two kids all day certainly limits the amount of things I can do!

So when all this is over will we go back to our normal lives as before? Will we be glad to be back at work and more active again? Will we no longer take for granted a quick jaunt to Ikea or a hike in the local park (closed now in France)?  Will we  buy lots of things to make up for lost time? Or will we be more careful with our purchases? Will we hug our friends or just do air kisses for a while? Will we value our friends and family differently?

The way things look in France, we won't go back to a truly normal schedule till September.  Until then I suppose I will take it one day at a time and remember what the actress Terri Garr's mother used to have printed on a pin for her shirt: EGBOK.  Everything's gonna be OK. Or as they say in Italy, a country that knows the stakes in this situation: andrĂ  tutto bene.



https://www.thelocal.it/20200312/italian-expression-of-the-day-andr-tutto-bene