Plant post

Every year I vow to make the flower garden at my in-laws into something more than the weed-infested patchwork that it is. And every year I end up falling far short of what I want to do. This area has been my pet project for about seven years. Remi had already planted some trees and perennials there before I came to France. One of my first summers here we created a little pebble path at my suggestion. When I say "we" did it, I should specify that he did 90% of the hard digging and hauling and I helped spread the pebbles and got us water to drink.




Since then, every year I add a few perennial plants or put some seed-grown annuals to create summer color. And though it is starting to fill up with plants, some of them are growing a bit too much (vinca, you know I'm talking to you), others not enough (black monkey grass, you are so slow!). And let's face it, as I mentioned last year, watching a toddler properly requires ALL my attention, so there are some limits as to what I can get done in this garden.

Some things are successes like the peony plant that has come back every year and has a good number of buds on it this year (will post photos when it's in bloom). The daffodils are multiplying nicely. You can see Juliette standing next to the lambs' ear plants (Stachys byzantina). Back in the days that I would peruse gardening books in the US, I became enchanted with the common name of this one. It's true the pale green leaves are soft and fuzzy. It has spikes of small light purple flowers in the summer. It can get a bit invasive though.



A new addition is the Cornus alba "sibirica", with its characteristic red brances which make our grey winters a bit less dull. I've been wanting one of these for a while, and the good thing about having a garden center owner for a husband is that I can take plants at will from his stock!



My goal is to have it looking something like an English border garden and to one day (!) put tags on everything so that Remi's clients could walk through and be informed about cool plants.

But for now at least, this garden is mostly a mix of haphazard choices. Filling spaces with the odd perennials and trying to win the war against the ugly thistle plants and stinging nettles. Before Juliette came into our lives I would painstakingly paint a leaf or two of those weeds with Roundup and let the herbicide do its thing. But now I don't use any chemicals in this garden and just use my arm power to pull things up. It's not always so succesful but sometimes parking myself in a sunny corner and weeding is a nice way to spend an hour (while Juliette naps safely indoors).

But I'll never get all those weeds. I suppose, like all things in (my) life, I'm going to have to accept this garden with its imperfections.

April brings...

...not so many showers, actually. It's been unseasonably warm and deliciously sunny. Most people aren't complaining considering how sun-starved we usually are here. But my husband's worried the pansies will spring up too much and get gangly which is not good for sales. Plus he does have to water an awful lot in the greenhouses. Juju and I are enjoying lovely strolls though.

...U.S. taxes. I'm really not sure if I should even bother doing them considering my income is always below the limit that would require me to pay taxes. But I do it anyway, generally the week before (uh, that would be right about now). Maybe I like to feel connected to my fellow Americans so I go through the inane process of filing that 1040 all the same. Any other US expats know if we really are supposed to do it?

...a visit from my dad! It's becoming an annual tradition to see him in April, and we're certainly looking forward to it. I'll still be working most of his visit but things might slow down a bit as the school holidays are approaching. We hope to get away for a little sightseeing, maybe even a ferry ride over to England as our plans got spoiled last time by that pesky volcanic dust cloud! Juliette will get to connect to another US relative and converse in English with someone besides me!

...a probable visit to the vet for Cat-ki. He's due for a vaccine and lately he's been peeing in the hall or by the tub or in the tub a time or two during the week. I'm tired of cleaning it up. Plus he's packed on the pounds (again) since we've started leaving his food bowl filled instead of giving him four meals a day. His constant whining was driving us crazy. I'm sure we'll get a talking to from the vet but she doesn't have to live with him!

...Glee, finaLee! Officially it started running in late March, but I didn't realize it till last weekend. I've watched some episodes now in English (!) and I'm hooked. My mom and sister have only been telling me about it for a year and a half. I knew it must be good if they like it but before I would have had to go on streaming sites that make my computer just get a migraine.

...and April has already brought a girls' nights out. Sitting in a terrace café with a kir (chilled white wine with a touch of raspberry liqueur for me) with the girls under a gorgeous blue evening sky! And giggling like school girls over Italian food. I may be married but I will always need my girlfriends for a bit of that giddy fun that only girls can understand!

A little person lives here

A little person lives here.

And her toys cover every surface.



Her little shoes line the walls (these are only about half of them).



I'm a giant next to her. For she can make a feast at the end table.



And because she's little she can get away with wearing candy-striped tights and hats with cat ears.



She can play endlessly with bouillon cubes.



But is equally at ease with her mommy's toys.



A little person lives here, but she's growing every day.

One day she'll be a big girl. One day she'll move away.

But for now she lets me share her world. And my life will forever be better because of my little girl.

What you should know about France

First of all, thanks to my readers for your advice and sympathy about my last post. I knew I could count on you guys to help me out. Still nothing resolved on the living front, but we're still talking.

Meanwhile, I'm taking a leaf from Oneika's blog. Here's what the guidebooks don't always tell you about one of the world's most popular tourist destinations.

1. Some of those stereotypes are true. I have seen folks carrying baguettes as they bike back home. I have seen old guys wearing berets. The French are obsessed with food. They do dress pretty well (sweatpants in the grocery store are rare). Some (not all) think deoderant is optional. Note to you guys: rethink that one.

2. Saying goodbye can take forever. There are so many polite expressions that sometimes I think it will never end as I try to leave the babysitter's or even just the baker's. There's au revoir, of course, which is basically goodbye. But then they'll add bonne journée (have a good day). And I say merci (thanks). And then they say à demain (see you tomorrow) or à bientôt (see you soon). And sometimes I get lost and start saying au revoir again.

3. They do the "bises". These are the famous cheek kisses. They can be in the morning to say hello to colleagues (girls and girls kiss or girls and guys kiss; guys shake hands- see #5). Or to say goodbye at the end of a visit with relatives or a party. Another reason saying goodbye can be long. Imagine a party of 15. At the end you need to start kissing five minutes before you really want to leave. I prefer waving myself and sometimes I do that. The number of kisses depends on the region you live in and your familiarity with the person. In my region it's four. But sometimes we just do two. You're left in mid-air if you're expecting more and the other person stops. In Belgium I hear it's three. French companies thought of suspending the "bises" ritual during the H1N1 flu scare. Mine said, no, we won't let some potentially deadly flu virus stop us from kissing cheeks!

4. Bonjour (hello) is just about as laborious as goodbye. Don't forget to say it, of course. Many a time I've gone up to a salesperson and said, "Excusez-moi" and I start explaining my problem. They then say bonjour (hello). I don't know if they're chastizing me for not starting my sentence with hello or just making sure they get it in there. My mom was indeed chastized in the Charles de Gaulle airport because in her pride and haste to get out her French question she forgot bonjour. The baker got onto a young boy for forgetting to say it and just directly asking for his baguette. On dit bonjour d'abord, she said to him. We say bonjour first. By the way, salut (hi but it can also be bye) is very informal and generally not used the first time in a business situation.

5. If you're at work or school don't forget to shake hands after you've said bonjour (or kiss, see #3). I generally shake hands with all my students at the beginning and sometimes the end of a lesson. Not so good for disease transmission either. I even shake hands with my doctor. I hope he's washing between patients...

6. Dodge that poop. Amber hit the nail on the head or the poop on the... (no, I won't try to make a pun here). There is way too much dog poop on the sidewalk. For a country that prides itself on its beautiful cobbled streets and picturesque lanes, there are a whole bunch of people who really don't give a sh** where their dogs poop and don't bother to clean it up. My town has distributors with sacks and special areas in parks for pooping pups. There are even fines of 35 euros if you're caught not scooping. But I've gotten used to dodging, just like Amber, because most people have not gotten the message. Oh, and watch out for the dog urine puddles, too.

7. Men pee anywhere. While we're on the subject of bodily fluids, it seems that men here are totally uninhibited when nature calls. This is perhaps not just limited to French men. Remi will do it in an alley or on a brick wall. The gas stations don't always have restrooms here so men (and sometimes women) will just go where they can. I'm gonna start a campaign for more public restrooms, especially since my little one will hopefully soon be potty-trained. Frankly there are not lots of restroom and kid-friendly places in my town.

8. "No thank you" is confusing here. I remember one of my first awkward meals at Remi's parents' place when my French was still limited to about ten words. His mom offered me more of something and I said, non, merci. The equivalent of "no thanks" in English, I thought. She hesitated a bit and looked to Remi for confirmation. Here they often just say merci with a little hand movement to say "no thanks, I don't want anymore". So if you say "thanks", merci, and you do want more, they might think you don't! I'm still not sure I've got it right, come to think of it. Please correct me if I'm wrong!

9. If you want free water, ask for une carafe d'eau. This will save you in those pricey restaurants. If you just ask for water : de l'eau, you'll probably get a bottle of Evian and the bill to go with it. Une carafe d'eau is just a bottle of tap water and free.

10. If you go shopping here, don't forget a coin and your own sacks. To get a cart, you must insert a one-euro coin or a token that is the very same shape in the cart to free it from the rack. Some supermarkets don't give you plastic bags but they do sell them. It's always a good idea to have your own bags. I just put all my stuff in a rolling suitcase once I get to the car.

And that, my friends, should get you by for a while. If some of you are more versed in French than me and disagree with my translations, I'm happy to hear what you think.

Location (location, location!)

I think new couples should ask each other right off the bat where they want to live in the future. On the dancefloor if need be. "Hey, do you come here often? And would you prefer a flat in the city or a country house?" Because, people, it is a Big Issue. When you're still in the hazy golden phase of your relationship you think you could live anywhere and, as long as your beloved were there, everything would be fine and dandy. You're not thinking clearly. You're not thinking about is it in a good school district? Or will the roads be accessible if it snows? Or is there a bakery in the town?

I know I've talked about it before. And bugged my friends about it. And my mom. And my husband, too, of course. But it's still an issue. That thorny question of where we will live. One day when we have sufficient incomes to buy, that is. We're already compromising now living in between our jobs. And renting. But Remi's always made it clear that he hates the city. And even a small city such as where we currently live is the object of his hate. His dream is the smallest of small towns. But said small town is far from job opportunities for me, far from shops, hospitals. I honestly have a hard time seeing myself living there. And that's where the problem begins.

I suggest the word "compromise" again. As in, somewhere between our current town and his place of business. Which would likely mean more driving for me, that's true, but not as much as if we lived in said small village. But we don't seem to be speaking the same language, be it in French or English. We're hitting a brick wall and it's not that of our hypothetical new home.

Where you live does matter. As an expat I'm already uprooted in every sense of the word. I guess I'm a bit picky about where I want to plant myself again. But I have a right to say that this place pleases me and this one doesn't. And sure, when I watch a documentary about poor Philipinos living under bridges and in cemeteries, I'm ashamed I ever complain about not having a garden or wanting a real bedside table. But does that mean I should never give my opinion at all? Accept anything knowing I probably won't be emotionally happy there? I'm not trying to be down on my husband here. Nor air my dirty laundry. I'm just trying to work out what I want and where I want to be. So, bloggers, advice is welcome.

What are the "musts" on your living place list?

Seven things

So Crystal kindly tagged/nominated me for this little award. Aw, shucks! I'm getting all verklempt. If I understand the concept correctly (you know I am getting on in years), I'm supposed to link back to my pal. Then tell you seven things you might not know about me. And nominate a few others to do the same! So here we go.

1. I don't sleep so well. Even though I love sleep, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night, even when Juliette doesn't wake me! Then I start thinking of all the things I shouldn't: job worries, life worries, anything. My friend Caro says she often does the same so I know I'm not alone, but I wish I could turn my brain off sometimes!

2. I love blue things. Like my blue-themed kitchen. And blue glass bottles (my mom collects these, too). My bedroom was creamy light blue in my mom's house and I just adored the delicacy of it. Now we're renting an apartment and everything's white, but I hope we'll get to paint our own rooms one day!

3. I suffer from redhead-envy. My hair is something of a strawberry blonde, or what the French call "blonde vénitienne". It was redder when I was younger. But when I see a confirmed redhead on TV I'm generally quite jealous and wish my hair were darker. My most recent object of envy was the new Dr. Who sidekick, Amy Pond, with her lovely tresses. I have even dyed my hair once in my life with one of those quick wash treatments to make it flashier. But it only lasted a wash or two.

4. I love finding good deals at the thrift store. Most of my pants come from there. I now find it very hard to pay more than 15 euros (or dollars for that matter) for something if I know I can get it for 4.50 at the second-hand store.

5. On the subject of clothes, I've got some stuff I'd consider flashy or trendy but sometimes I'm hesitant to actually wear it. I feel a bit self-conscious even if I think I look decent in them. But I'm slowly breaking out of that and wearing the red coat Remi got me a few Christmases ago. I've also got plenty of skirts and dresses but even when the weather's warm I generally just wear pants.

6. I can be outrageously campy. I like to sing Tom Jones' songs in a swingy voice. Try it and I think you'll agree it's extremely liberating. It's not unuuusual to be loved by anyone...Or how about this one: she's a lady, whoahoooo, she's a lady!

7. I was a real study geek in high school and college. On a typical Saturday night I was in my dorm room studying for next week's organic chemistry test while the rest of the world was out on a date. Some good it's done me because I'm not a doctor of chemical engineer.

Now I'd like to tag Jessamyn, and no, there's no nepotism going on here.
And a new blog I recently discovered, The Many Colors of Happiness.

So if you're game girls, let's hear your seven things...

Proof!

A while back I wrote about my own Internet addiction. Turns out I wasn't that far from the truth. This scientist studied what happened when she asked college students not to use their cell phones or Internet for 24 hours (a REALLY long time). They had to keep a journal about how they felt and many used terms that one would associate with addiction and seemed to have some real withdrawal type symptoms.



What's funny is that on the CNN site you can also recommend the video via your Facebook account and here I am blogging about it. But I kind of agree with what they say at the end, that we do need to make sure there are moments of the day we are NOT connected (except for when you're reading my blog, of course) and are really interacting. I bet this lady is also sponsoring that unitasking seminar...