Thursday, March 26, 2009

Full circle

Last weekend we took advantage of the finicky sun to take a walk in a small local wood. We were rewarded with a beautiful carpet of jonquils under the trees. Even though the temperature was still a bit frisky, the sights were lovely and it gave baby some fresh air and a chance to see the roosters and pigeons in their pens. This was the same place we visited about a year ago when the wild hyacinths were in bloom (that will be in a few weeks). So I couldn’t help thinking back to that time when I had my round belly and Remi and I were imagining our soon-to-be transformed life.

Lately I catch myself doing lots of retrospection and projection, thinking of where I was a year ago and where I will be a year from now. Maybe children do that to you, make you more conscious of how quickly things can change. This time next year she’ll be walking and saying more words. We’ll be chasing after her and making sure she doesn’t put everything in her mouth. But I realize that I maybe spend so much time thinking back or forward that I’m not fully living in the present. It’s like that saying about the past being finished, the future for tomorrow and the present is a gift. Or something like that. Or as the hippies would say, be here now. Live in the moment, carpe diem, seize the day. Maybe I should get it tattooed on myself ‘cause I never can seem to really follow that advice, no matter how many times I’ve heard it.

Anyhow, it was nice to spend time as a family after so many weekends when Remi was working hard on the machine. Unfortunately we’re about to come into the heat of it, the majorly busy month of May and the first half of June. So we won’t have too many free weekends together soon, and I may even help out some in the greenhouse with baby smeared with sunscreen in her playpen near me. Oh, there I go again, projecting into the future. So I’ll just have to concentrate on the time we can spend calmly now and that as long as baby’s with me and doing fine, all the rest is small stuff.


Crystal said...

Live in the moment, in the's so true, yet so hard to do. I catch myself thinking this all the time (during those lonely trips back and forth to work on the train) and I feel like life is passing by and I'm not taking advantage of each day. I keep thinking about what the future holds, but in doing so, am missing the present. But, some things I chalk up to personality...I'm a planner, an organizer, a rationalist...I need to know what's up ahead in order to feel ok about the here and now. Maybe that's you too?

Anyway, nice pics and looks like you had a lovely time outside with BB. Miss you guys :)

Lindle said...

I came across this a few years ago, "Live today as if it's the last day you have on earth, but plan as if you'll live a thousand years more."

You must have vision, hope, and some tantalizing carrot in the future to get you up in the morning, but one never does know if the day you've just been given is the last.

If we don't think back and assess where we've been and what we've done from time to time, then we have no point from which to measure our next steps. And at the same time, if you are constantly looking in the rearview mirror, you are going to smash into something right in front of you!
Love you-