Friday, January 30, 2009

If Monk had a baby…

…he’d probably be a lot like me.

Like the other night, fearing that I’d dropped my handkerchief in baby’s crib as I’d laid her down, I went through the worst case scenario routine in my head. If her little hands find the hankie and it gets over head and mouth and then…This is why I crept back in her room an hour after she’d drifted off and tried to delicately feel around her crib for said hankie. Only this woke her up and thus followed nearly two hours of trying to feed and soothe her so she’d go back down. All the while my dead tired husband was just praying to be able to sleep himself.

And would Monk be able to take a feeding of the highly stainable mix of apple, banana and blueberry? I sometimes hold one of her hands so she won’t dip it in the jar and get the purple mixture on her clothes, hair, face…And as I spoon it in I see it go all around her mouth so have to keep using the spoon to “clean” up. And then there’s fruit gunk on the spoon handle from having dipped it too far into the jar, and oh, it’s a clean-freak wannabe’s nightmare.

And I’m pretty sure Monk would have called the baby soap customer service line, too. Because I saw a drop of her concentrated bath gel fall onto her tongue as I was pouring it into my own hands to lather her up. And though she seemed just fine I decided a call to the toll-free number wouldn’t hurt. And I’m sure the kind lady on the phone has heard even crazier stuff anyway.

Yes, if Monk were a dad, he’d be a lot like me- a nervous wreck.

1 comment:

Lindle said...

Milam Monk--I think you may be having some fits of OCD. I can just see you trying to get Juliette to open her mouth into the perfect "O" and you aiming dead center for the perfect spot on the tongue---and then "BAM!!!" She will move her face ever so slightly, destroying your perfect aim.

Deep breaths, honey!

I can relate to the obsessiveness of checking a child at night. I would hold my hand over your bodies (I'm including your sister in this shared memory) to make sure you were breathing in your sleep. Then I would walk away a few steps and question myself. "Did I really feel her breathing, or was it my imagination? Better check again...." This could go on forever!

I guess that's why they invented those sensors that go under the mattresses now for worried parents.

Worried about blueberry stains? Don't give her blueberries.

Otherwise--it's a baby. They are going to make a mess. You are going to worry over every little thing. Somehow, they survive your best intentions. :)