1. If you need to get up early the next day, baby will cry at least three times at night, and at least one of those times just 30 minutes before you were supposed to wake up anyway.
2. If you can sleep late (‘cause it’s the weekend), baby will decide to wake up early, e.g. 6:30.
3. If you just changed her diaper, she will have a poopy one immediately after.
4. If you’re late for work, she will have a poopy diaper seconds before you need to walk out the door.
5. If you forget her bib when you go on an outing, she will be super messy that day.
6. If you give her a toy, she will always want the book/piece of food/remote control that YOU have.
7. If you buy her expensive toys, she will prefer the boxes they came in (I didn’t make this one up but it’s so true).
8. If you dress her particularly cute that day, she will get her clothes very dirty.
9. If you spend time making her a great home-made meal, she’ll just pick at it and ask for a cookie.
10. If she comes down with a high fever, it will be outside of normal doctor’s hours.
And so as not to totally scare off any would-be parents out there…
11. If you bend down to clean up dried cat throw-up, she’ll choose that moment to hug you.
(Curly hair just after a bath.)