What I've noticed- school stuff

In my very brief experience in my school (just sevenish days so far), I've noticed a few things that I find funny. For example...

*Three out of the twelve students have rulers that they use to underline important things while taking notes. Remi was looking at my notes as I reviewed them in front of the TV one night and he said, oh, that reminds me of my messy notes at the end of the semester when I was in a hurry. Well, my notes weren't that messy but I hadn't used a ruler to underline headings. So the next day I used a ruler just to see what it was like, and it does make things look very neat. But I'm not going to be obsessive about it. The idea is to retain what the teacher said, not to make a beautiful page that could be put in the next textbook edition.

*Some teachers give small dictations. Though the economics teacher is a live wire and likes to digress on topics, he also has parts of his lesson where he dictates a paragraph of Very Important Information. We're all there writing furiously and trying to absorb the meaning at the same time. I suppose it's like the teacher writing important things on the board, but it feels strange to be doing a dictation at my age. So scholarly.

*French students are more casual than you'd think. Forget the image of the French fashion-conscious person. I've noticed that some of my fellow students often wear the exact same outfit two or three days in a row. Actually, this is a French thing. Whereas I might wear the same pants a few times in a week, I generally always have different shirts. I guess there's nothing wrong with recycling your outfits as long as they're clean, but it's just that in the US people would say, hey, didn't you wear that yesterday?

*No ostentation religious symbols are allowed in public schools. I give the Algerian girl a lift to the tramway station and I noticed she'd put on her head scarf as we approached the stop. But she doesn't wear it in school. I asked her why and she said because it's forbidden in school. I'd forgotten they'd passed this law a few years back. In this girl's case it's not a burka or anything as restrictive as that. Black or colored head scarfs in fact. And she dresses pretty much normally, jeans and tops, the occasional more ethnic style shirt and pants suit. Frankly I don't see a problem with her wearing her scarf, but I know the idea behind this law was to help women not be forced to wear it by overbearing husbands or fathers.

*Foreign diplomas = big fat zero. Never mind that I have a Master's degree in the US (and I'm not bragging there, because it's been so long I'm not even sure what it was in). None of the courses I took back home will transfer so I must take all the courses in the new training program. I don't mind as I need the review anyway, and some of it is new material for me. But even English is not exempt. So next week I'll be having English classes every morning. On the bright side of things, I guess it'll boost my average.

Until next time, study hard, dudes. And if you're not a student, then relax and cherish the moment!

Nearly three

I think I've always enjoyed three-year olds. They are fun creatures. Delightful, despite their continuing tendency to have a tantrum or two. Little pint-sized humans that giggle and dance and say biggish sentences in their unbelievably small voices. I enjoy Juliette at this age (not that I didn't before). I like teaching her about the world and seeing how she processes it. And how she repeats things she hears me saying, mannerism and all.

Tuesday morning we didn't have a lesson at my school (hard to find teachers who aren't on vacation in July, I think), and I was happy to spend the time with Juju. I'm more conscious of appreciating my time with her now that I have less of it. So it was off to the bakery for a loaf of bread and a pain au chocolat that we shared on the way to the the little playground nestled in the trees. We were alone there except for some teen girl who kept sending texts on her phone. I tried to teach Juliette how to pump her legs as she was swinging. We've still got work to do but she did like repeating "up and bend" as she swung. That look of pure joy on her face as she went up and down, leaning her head back to look at the leaves above is just priceless. I swung beside her and looked up at the trees, too. Being at the playground in the cool of the morning and staring up at the sky brought me back to my own childhood and similar, blurry memories. When the air is fresh and life seems limitless. Oh, to be three again, not a worry in the world.

She's also entering that DVD mania stage. While my mom was here she bought a few pre-birthday gifts for Juliette of some DVDs that will play on our French-bought system. (Ones from the US have to be played on the computer.) So now my little one often asks for Pinnocchio or Nemo or Chim-chiminey (Mary Poppins) and Strawberry Shortcake (the older ones, thank you. The new CG characters remind of Manga girls or preteens who hang out at the mall. But that's just me. No, it isn't, check out this like-minded blogger!). It's amazing how she can get so absorbed in these, though her attention span is still short and she will take her Dora book at the same time. We can watch all these DVDs in English by the way.

She's definitely more little girl than baby now. Longer body, of course. Much more hair than this time last year, often curly. The sitter wonders if she'll be taller than me when she grows up. Juliette looks at clothes in the shops and says "That's cute," and again I know that comes frome me. She's also a little Monkish: if she sees dirt on the floor, she'll tell me to "clean it up!" I can't tell you how tickled I am to hear her saying so many things in English at home. It helps that Remi is willing to converse in English with her, too.

So an early happy birthday to my little one! May three be a great year for us all!

First week

I'm trying out the BlogWriter app on my iPod. No wifi at school but I can type it and publish later. School's ok so far. The other ten students are nice. I'm not the oldest, but a good number of my fellow students are 24. I've had classes in computer technology and economics. Today we've started learning about the new labelling system for chemicals in the lab.

It's weird to be back in a school environment. I think I'm enjoying it but I'm afraid to be hasty. I feel that this was a good decision because I find the subjects interesting for the most part. A nice moment was eating lunch in the grass with the others. Reminded me of my college days. I'm trying to remember that I'm lucky to have the opportunity to go back to school.

Of course, it's a transition for me. I wish I could get home earlier. I try to make the most of my few hours with Juju in the evening. I can feel I'm missing her already. My curly-topped girl is such a joy to me. I think she knows it. Remi takes her in the morning and he's helping out with some more chores since my home time is more limited.

We've just got to hang on for this year.

Brave or crazy? You be the judge.

Ah, travelling with a nearly three-year old. No one said it would be easy. And it wasn't. Though there were moments things went swimmingly (potty-training is doing much better, thank you), there were others where we wanted to sink into the earth (tantrum in the otherwise peaceful water lily gardens at Giverny). Well, we survived."We" being Remi and I and my mom, who has been here visiting for the past two weeks. And, let's face it, it's not so easy on Juliette either. Being confined to a car for a road trip, having nap times shortened or skipped, sleeping in hotel rooms. Or more like not sleeping because she was really disoriented by the new environment.

But we saw some beautiful things and I think it's always important to see how much you can adapt with a child. Maybe we should have been doing more travelling with her from the start, but money and time limited us on that.

Anyway, here are some pictures to wet your appetite!

Totally copying Crystal here, we went to Giverny, to see the charming country house and lovely gardens of Monet. I loved seeing the view he had from his bedroom.

My mom and Juliette in the gardens. Before the tantrum.

Giverny is only about an hour from the city of Rouen. It's got a lovely downtown, including this gorgeous old clock (le gros horloge), a cathedral and charming architecture reminiscent of Alsace with the half-timbered houses. It's also the city where Joan of Arc was burned at the stake, for you history buffs.

Then we spent an evening in Mers-les-Bains and the next day took some windy walks in Fort Mahon beach before heading back to our home base. Wouldn't you know it, the day after it was hot and sunny at the beach. Oh, well.


As usual, it's been great having family around. I tell mom I feel like I have a clone- another person who thinks quite like me and has the same instincts as me (as in prepping for dinner and doing the dishes, a godsend). When my dad was here it was quite the same. My mom's been a tremendous help around the house and has also helped me out on some home projects.

But as I speak she's flying back home. Two weeks went by quickly, as we knew they would. I find myself dreaming, as she does, too, that we only lived down the road. Or even just five hours by car would be better than our current situation. It's tougher this time because with my back-to-school situation (that would be in two days, people, yikes!), I'm not 100% sure when I'll see my family next. I guess I'll do my best to hold on to all the great memories we made on this trip and know that we're simply on the long waiting side of "see you next time."

Me against the world

This post is an abrupt about face from my last happily dapply one. Today I'm writing you from the bottom of the dark damp pit that is anger, depression and alienation. Hello, my old friends. It hasn't been so long, after all?

The cause: the total misunderstanding that stemmed from one of Juliette's tantrums. Monday she tried to slap me as I was putting her in her high chair for her snack (which she didn't want). I immediately picked her wriggling body up and put her in the playpen in Remi's room (we were at his parents') and told her to calm down. I didn't hit her back. To me that seemed illogical to say, don't hit mommy, then for me to spank her. It seemed contrary to the message I wanted to send, that hitting is wrong.

Of course, she started wailing. She knew she was being punished. She started getting hysterical. So I went back in there and tried to talk to her and at one point did give her leg a little slap to bring her back to reason. But she continued howling. Remi heard about the whole situation from his parents and later said I should have spanked her right away. The insinuation was that I was coming off as weak and not in control of my daughter in the first place as she tried to hit me.

This of course is wrong. I know from reading parents' forums online that toddlers hitting their parents or others is quite common and part of this phase of their life where they "test" things out. It is important to react, I'm not denying that. And I did react, immediately, by putting her in time out. This is where I apparently differ from just about all French people. Because since said situation, Remi has been telling me that so and so agree with him that spanking would have been the best solution right away.

Now I'm not entirely against the occasional mild spanking but I'm totally against it becoming a routine way to punish. My pediatrician is in fact against it all together. It seems to me to be the easy way out for parents. No need to explain and reason with the child. Just the threat of the hand. It's not the only way to discipline your child, that's what I want to shout out! A child also needs to understand why what they did was wrong, to learn to say sorry, to realize during their time out that what they did has landed them in isolation.

It's just starting to get to me big time that I'm always (or nearly so) in the minority when it comes to parenting views around here. No one takes me seriously when I say that when a child doesn't want to eat that yelling at them and giving them the uneaten beans from lunch at snack time is NOT the right approach. Ok, I get frustrated like the next parent and get testy when I see Juliette pick at her food. But I'm trying to find the best way to get her interested in food without dunking her head in the bowl. (Rest assured, that's never happened).

And now it's the entire French population who seems to think that the parent who doesn't spank tout de suite (right away) is coming off as weak (see this article which does show there might be some cultural background for this). And will probably have a demon child at the age of 15. There was talk of having an anti-spanking law here (as in Sweden), but most people scoffed at the idea.

If I have to repeat it ten times a day, I will. I am NOT a weak parent. I'm not a perfect one, but I don't let my child walk all over me either. And I'm sure she'll grow up to be a sweet and lovely person, despite her toddler tantrums.

This time of year

These are the glorious days. Like Thursday when I didn't mind that much driving an hour to one of my client's because the sky was gorgeous with cottony clouds. And my favorite UB40 song, their version of Here I am Baby, set the mood for my ride back (yet another hour) as I enjoyed rolling green farmland, complete with the odd cow.

Spring does that to me. Makes my heart sing. Even though today as I write this we've got grey weather and rain clouds in the distance, I don't mind, because I know the garden will be getting some more of that much needed rain.

Speaking of the garden and all things flowery, this time of year is absolutely gorgeous in Remi's greenhouse. Everything seems to be at peak bloom and there are still enough flowers on the benches to create waves of color everywhere you look. After a while I even get blasé about how beautiful it is.

Of course, just as Remi's parents did when he was a toddler, I have to take pictures of Juliette in all this glory. Whether she likes it or not.

Marigolds on the left, Jujuflower in the middle, begonias on the right.

Petunias right behind her, geraniums in the background. Her trusty "Doudou" bunny in her hand.

Took this picture using the timer function so it took me about five tries and Juliette did NOT understand the concept of sitting still while I fiddled with the camera. Blue lobelia flowers (my all-time favorite) and bidens, I think, the yellow ones.

In the garden patch I tend to at his parents' place, things are blooming quite nicely, too. I particularly like this combination of Lychnis coronaria, Nepeta and a rose bush. I can only take the credit for planting the Lychnis myself.

Lychnis have the fuschia flowers, Nepeta light purple, then the rose bush.

The days are long this time of year. The sun doesn't set till around 10 and we're approaching summer solstice in about a week. I love being able to go out on my balcony and water at 10 at night and still see everything clearly. It's true we have more energy when the sun's out with us. I daresay I even don't mind sooo much getting up early when it's already bright. Winter is a whole different story, and I'm already dreading it.

Maybe I'm also accutely aware of how these next three weeks are my last bit of "freedom" before my training starts. I'm trying to appreciate the time I've still got to putter and walk to the park with Juliette without worrying too much about studying. My mom will be coming a week from today (yeah!), and I know we'll have a blast. Once she leaves I'll plunge into my program, but for now I'll keep focusing on enjoying every moment.

Blissfully ignorant... and a bit scared

Starting in July things are gonna change around here. I've been given financing to go back to school for a year. To study what? Stuff I kind of already know: biology/chemistry/lab techniques. But especially the latter I really haven't practiced in eight years. And it's been eating at me to not really use my US degrees here in France. I don't know that this program will open all the doors to me. But I feel it's better to do something than nothing (or to just whine). So in less than a month (yikes!), I'll be back in school, probably pulling my hair out trying to remember things that were simple to me when I was 18. Which was more than half a lifetime ago for me.

For now I can only imagine what the training will really be like (hence the blissfully ignorant part). I've been trying to review some things on my own, but I fear it won't be enough. Luckily most of my classes will be with other adults who are going back to school also (but some of them have had access to an official review session that my funding doesn't pay for).

Nevertheless I'm a little worried and scared about the whole thing. For several reasons:

*I'll be earning less money for a year. Even though tuition is paid (a good thing), my salary will not be at the same level it is now. Can you say sacrifices? Can you say tightening an already tight budget? I haven't been sleeping well just thinking about it all these past months.

*I'll have to really work! As in study my butt off. Which I don't know if I can do so easily since I'll still have to take care of Juju a good bit of the time. There might be weekends where Remi can help more, but I have a hard time imagining next spring when he works seven days a week and I need to cram for biochemistry.

*The training is pretty much eight hours a day, except Fridays when I think I'll finish a bit earlier. So Juliette will have to be in before and after-school care. And either spend some Wednesdays with Remi's mom or in the daycare. Because French kids don't go to school on Wednesdays. That's not so easy for working (or studying) moms to handle. I think the fact that I'll be seeing her less eats the most at me. I've been super lucky to be able to spend some afternoons or parts of mornings with her due to my weird work schedule (read: not many classes sometimes). But that will change. Remi will take her to before-school care in the morning, and I'll pick her up hopefully around 6:20. It'll be a long day for all of us.

But I'll have to bring out that famous adapting ability I'm not so good at. The transition won't be easy, but hopefully after a few months time we'll all find our rhythm. And it is, of course, for a good cause.

So I might be blogging less come July and reading your blogs less(though I'll sneak in a post or two, because I think I'll still need this outlet). But I know you'll understand. Ok, back to a bit of light reviewing (until I nod off...)