Saturday, June 4, 2011

Blissfully ignorant... and a bit scared

Starting in July things are gonna change around here. I've been given financing to go back to school for a year. To study what? Stuff I kind of already know: biology/chemistry/lab techniques. But especially the latter I really haven't practiced in eight years. And it's been eating at me to not really use my US degrees here in France. I don't know that this program will open all the doors to me. But I feel it's better to do something than nothing (or to just whine). So in less than a month (yikes!), I'll be back in school, probably pulling my hair out trying to remember things that were simple to me when I was 18. Which was more than half a lifetime ago for me.

For now I can only imagine what the training will really be like (hence the blissfully ignorant part). I've been trying to review some things on my own, but I fear it won't be enough. Luckily most of my classes will be with other adults who are going back to school also (but some of them have had access to an official review session that my funding doesn't pay for).

Nevertheless I'm a little worried and scared about the whole thing. For several reasons:

*I'll be earning less money for a year. Even though tuition is paid (a good thing), my salary will not be at the same level it is now. Can you say sacrifices? Can you say tightening an already tight budget? I haven't been sleeping well just thinking about it all these past months.

*I'll have to really work! As in study my butt off. Which I don't know if I can do so easily since I'll still have to take care of Juju a good bit of the time. There might be weekends where Remi can help more, but I have a hard time imagining next spring when he works seven days a week and I need to cram for biochemistry.

*The training is pretty much eight hours a day, except Fridays when I think I'll finish a bit earlier. So Juliette will have to be in before and after-school care. And either spend some Wednesdays with Remi's mom or in the daycare. Because French kids don't go to school on Wednesdays. That's not so easy for working (or studying) moms to handle. I think the fact that I'll be seeing her less eats the most at me. I've been super lucky to be able to spend some afternoons or parts of mornings with her due to my weird work schedule (read: not many classes sometimes). But that will change. Remi will take her to before-school care in the morning, and I'll pick her up hopefully around 6:20. It'll be a long day for all of us.

But I'll have to bring out that famous adapting ability I'm not so good at. The transition won't be easy, but hopefully after a few months time we'll all find our rhythm. And it is, of course, for a good cause.

So I might be blogging less come July and reading your blogs less(though I'll sneak in a post or two, because I think I'll still need this outlet). But I know you'll understand. Ok, back to a bit of light reviewing (until I nod off...)


Amber said...

Good for you, Mil! I think it's excellent that you're taking steps towards a new career. I hope you will still blog from time to time so we can hear about your experience and get updates about the little one.

Crystal said...

This will definitely be a transition for the whole family, but well worth it I think. I'm so glad you are going for it and it's never too late to change career orientation...I'll be doing the same in a few months!

Now go hit the books girl ;)

Lindle said...

It frustrates your family to see that your US degrees and work experience here were not respected in your new country enough to offer you related employment. It's their loss.
To be cliche, without risk--there is no gain. You have to try this to make yourself more employable. Here in America, so many unemployed (9.1% as of this week), are going back to school, or getting training for work that is completely different from what they used to have. Millions are taking jobs that offer significantly less pay than they used to make. It's a rough time around the globe for many nations. I hope this sacrifice will bring you better opportunities. Everyone is proud of you for taking such a risk.

Jessamyn said...

I'm proud of you babe! And I wish I was brave enough to take such a risk myself. You have to go after it! You're a strong, smart woman! The science will come back to you.

Jenenz said...

Learning will bring new opportunities. You'll meet new people and colleagues. It's sounds like it's the right time to do it. The door has opened. Step in and begin the journey.

As they say in the States, "Go for it!"

Deidre said...

Good for you! How exciting. Change is always a bit hard. Good luck!

Oneika said...

Good luck on your new journey!! It will be difficult but the career satisfaction you'll glean will be priceless. :-)