Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Adulthood is overrated

When I was ten I wanted to be an architect or astronomer, more because I liked the sound of the words than anything else, I think. I figured that as an adult I’d wear light grey suits and drive around in a grey BMW and live in a cute townhouse. It was the mid-80s and yuppies were my role model. My reality is slightly different.

I’ve had a lot of “reality bites” moments lately. I’ve been battling a cold perhaps sinus infection for a month, all the while having very little work (which would distract me a bit and plump up my bank account) and seeing very little of my husband (that durn precious machine of his). And I’ve been thinking that adulthood is just not all it seemed to be when I was a ten.

I didn’t realize there would be so much dish-washing and laundry involved. And that my husband would be so dead tired when he came home that it’s often out of the question to ask him for help. I can tell you it’s a sad moment when you stare down a sink of dirty dishes and realize that’s probably gonna be your job for the rest of your life (until baby gets tall enough to help).

And I don’t think my ten-year old self would have been pleased to know that when you’re sick as an adult, there’s nobody to pamper you. I know my dear mum would do it if she could, but there’s that ocean between us. And again, husband being snowed under with work, not much he can do. And with a darling baby (no sarcasm there, she IS darling), you just can’t pull the covers over your head because you’ve got a headache. A very lonely moment when I realized that one.

At ten I didn’t realize that paying bills is no fun at all, and yet there’s no end to it. Giving all your money to rent, electricity, taxes and then exciting things like food and medicine and if you’re lucky a teeny-tiny bit left over to pay off the airfare to America (the highlight of my year, believe you me!!!).

If I were to just take a look at the news I’d realize that even my worst day is probably an all-expense paid dream vacation for two-thirds of the planet. But I’ve always had trouble keeping things in perspective. So just let me wallow for a while and dream about those old days when responsibility meant making my bed and doing my homework…


Crystal said...

hey you...I must agree with you here...adulthood IS over-rated. Sometimes I stop to think "is this it?" working at an unstable job, cleaning, cooking..lather, rinse, repeat every day. I keep thinking that the special ingredient to taking advantage of life as an adult is missing...but what is it?

I hope you feel better soon...having a lingering cold really sucks. When are you going to visit your mom and sister?

Lindle said...

After you have had a debilitating injury, you can take joy in the mundane. Washing dishes in hot soapy water with some bouncy music in the background can be fun because you have reentered the land of the living, and the small tasks remind you that you have lived through it.
The Age of Innocence--youth, for most people, is a wondrous time (but mostly in hindsight). There is joy ahead. There is joy now. You only have to recognize it. It's squished in between the hustle and the bustle.
You will feel better soon, I hope. A long cold can whip a lot of hope out of a person---but don't give up.