Light and fluffy

I remember light and fluffy.  I remember strolling in the mall and window shopping or even buying some trinket I didn't need.

I remember running by the store on the way to pick up my daughter from scouts, killing time and buying some nice dark chocolate (for me) and a bottle of white wine for dinner.

I remember saying, geez, too bad it's raining, but we could still go to the museum in town or just take our umbrellas and walk the squares anyway.

Since France has been under lockdown (officially since noon on March 17th) I can't just do those things on a whim.  All but non-essential businesses (grocery stores, pharmacies) are closed.  And you are encouraged to only go to them when you really REALLY need something.  I saw a gendarme on TV blessing a woman out for buying a cart full of six Coca Cola bottles and what looked like deli meat.  He said it wasn't essential and she needed her permission slip to leave her house.  And that she would get a stomachache.

I remember when my WhatsApp conversations went something like this:

Me: Hey, how are you guys today?
Mom/my sister/my friends: Ok, just going grocery shopping and working.
Me: Sounds good.  Off to pick up Alex and think of what to make for dinner.  Catch you later.

Now they're more like this:
Me: How are you feeling? No fever?
Mom/my sister/my friends: Ok, just going stir crazy in my house. No fever though.
Me: Yeah, same here.  Gotta find enough ingredients to make a healthy dinner.  More later.

How many of you are looking deep in your cupboards now, getting super inventive and not wasting a morsel so you can avoid going back to the store?  Facebook is full of recipes of things you can make with what you probably still have on hand.

Still I remember light and fluffy.  Making cakes just because I wanted to eat something warm and sweet. Now I scrupulously count my eggs and see how much butter I have because I also need those for other meal options.  But I still make cakes when I can ;)


But in our new normal, let's call it slow and steady, it's the little things that stand out more.  I catch the way the sun looks at different times around my house.

I know the best time for us to go in the garden and get some of that precious sun (after lunch).

I see the bulbs coming out of the ground (I had time to plant some more) and how the color is slowly coming into the buds.

I see that my white steps in the stairwell shine now (cause I finally cleaned them).

I see that my little one really does get sleepy around 2:30 and that even if he doesn't go willingly, he will settle down eventually.

I see that my daughter loves crafts and organizing (already knew that) and that she loves it when I do art with her.  And she needs mommy time even though her brother is so demanding.

I see that the cat really doesn't do anything all day except go in and out and sleep on her radiator perch.

Funny how something so little, microscopic in fact, like this virus, can stop a whole world and make me see the little things.  The little things that count.

So one day light and fluffy will come back and we will savor it that much more.  For now slow and steady is an unexpected change of pace that we must accept.  With grace and kindness to others and ourselves.