Sunday, October 16, 2011

What's going on

Time for an update on my last two weeks:

Ever had that exam nightmare where you were late? In my case it wasn't a nightmare but I seriously thought about pinching myself to make myself wake up. My normal route to school had a roadblock for some reason I still don't know. And I wasn't quite sure how to get around it and ended up getting monumentally lost. On the morning of my statistics exam which was supposed to be at 8:05. Can you say panic? I made it 30 minutes late only to find that my classmates weren't in the regular room. I frantically searched and asked admin folks where they might be and finally found them. Luckily the professor let me in and even gave me extra time to finish. Verdict's still out on the test which we all found rather tricky. Will get the grade in November.

While we're on the subject of tests, you must mark everything in ink. Even math tests! You can have your scrap paper but must transfer the official answers to the real test and in ink. Here again the professor was kind to me, knowing I'm not always aware of the school procedures in France, but he said next time write it all in ink. It's kind of security measure so the student can't later claim their pencilled-in answers were smudged or changed, he said.

School has had its ups and downs. Though some days I feel really on my game and congratulate myself for getting an in-class exercise right, other times I'm lost or not concentrating. Overall things are going ok, and I continue to enjoy most of what I'm learning. I'm still glad I did this and now when I hear of another person thinking about going back to school, I encourage them wholeheartedly. Even fictional characters like Allison Dubois on Medium*, contemplating going back to law school. I say, go, girl, you can do it, it'll be tough, but you'll get there.

But I'm a bit disappointed sometimes in the immaturity of my classmates. Granted, most are much younger than me. Maybe their immaturity is rubbing off on me, in fact. I don't know why I get involved in their silly games sometimes and get bent out of shape or feel like defending people when there is maybe some injustice going on. Maybe I'm more like Lynette on Desperate Housewives** than I think. Then in the end I decide neutrality is the best way to go. The others in the class say I'm the "momma" because I seem to try and take care of them. But I'm doing this thing for myself, not to get lost in interpersonal dramas.

Speaking of momma-ness, that's been hard-going too. Or rather, a week ago it was, but this week's been better. Juliette had some amazingly long and hard tantrums a week ago and I seriously felt exhausted by school and then her antics. I felt like I was losing it. Luckily this week every evening she was sweet and cuddly, with some of the usual whininess, but nothing like that one day she practically wouldn't let me put her in the carseat. I've spent lots of good quality time with her this weekend. Stayed at home today, Sunday, because of my head cold, while Remi hauled in mums for All Saints' Day which is approaching. I know not all my Sundays will be like this, so I'm enjoying it, lazy afternoon naps and baking to boot! So until next time, hope you all are having some lovely fall weekends. Know I'm thinking of you all even if I don't email or read your blogs as much as I used to. Air kisses to you all.

*Ah, Medium. Finally getting the last season, and in English. And can I just say- Joe Dubois?! So, yes, you know, husband of the year, and indescribably yummy in his sleepware...
**And people say my mom is a bit like Lynette, too, so maybe it's genetic. I've got more fire in me than I thought.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Heard it all before, but it bears repeating

I know I'm gonna sound like a broken record this year. Too much to do for school, not enough time with the family. And though Remi is having to deal with sometimes feeling single when I go back to the room and study while he watches evening TV, it's just harder to explain that this year mommy's rather busy to a three-year old. And there are times, many times, when I feel rather sad to have only seen my little one five minutes or not at all in the morning before dashing off. Mondays seem to be tougher on me as I remember the quality time we spent together on the weekend, and I realize I'll have so little time with her on weeknights. Even though I know so many working moms deal with this, I sometimes feel like complaining.

And it seems that Juliette's own school experience is taking a toll on her. She still seems to like it enough, especially lunchtime and eating at the cafeteria. We've noticed her speaking French more clearly now when she "faux-talks" on the phone. And she's speaking more and more French with Remi's family. Still English with me but I can hear a bit more French creep in. Sometimes it makes me twinge a little in that I feel like I'm "losing" her. It's silly, I know, because obviously she is half-French and lives here and must speak that language!

She also acts up a bit more at home. "No" has always been one of her favorite words, but she can yell it with such ferocity now and for the silliest things. Her teacher says she's quite well-behaved at school but that kids sometimes need to "let it all out" at home. It's been tough dealing with tantrums at the end of the day when all I want is to have fun with her. I sometimes even tell her, as she writhes on the floor, that mommy is sad when Juliette isn't happy. Then her screams turn more to sobs and she'll say "make mommy sad" in a guilty wail. I hope I'm not giving her a complex, but I did read that you should explain things to toddlers.

But I try to focus on the good times, like singing songs on the bed after school.

Meanwhile, I've found an internship for my training program. Will be at a company that we'll call Pasta Place in the microbiology lab. At least that's one less thing to worry about. That will be in January, for a seven-week period. I got home early from the interview and didn't think it worthwhile to drive back to school for an hour and a half of English class (what with the price of gas and all, too). So of course I rushed to Blogger to update! Now I'm gonna make some chocolate chip cookies with white chocolate bits before I go pick up Juliette from school at the official end of the school day.