Chat-chat here. Let me say that the arrival of this thing has been difficult to say the least. I thought I could put up with a lot, but even I am becoming sleep-deprived because of all this crying. And my sleep is of vital importance as I’m a supreme being (Editor’s note: cat). The thing takes up all the attention of my servants (Editor’s note: cat owners). Female servant used to spend all her free time with me, but now she seems to hiss at me (my job, not hers) if I dare to jump on the table (normal activity).
Take today for example. Apparently the thing had what’s called a diaper emergency. Female servant rushed leaking thing out of the room. She left her piece of quiche on the table (invitation). It’s only normal I should investigate. Being so very smart I knocked over the plate (without breaking it). And proceeded to sample the quiche on the floor. When she returned she slapped me on the cheek which is just not nice.
Then there’s all this new equipment in the apartment which I need to check out. The stroller and playpen, they’re called. They belong to me as far as I can see it. They are perfect sleeping places. But the servants had the gall to put a balloon in the playpen (to dissuade me from entering, which is my right) and when I jumped in it popped. I was so horrified I had to compose myself by resting in the litter box for a while.
So if they would just listen to me for a second, I could tell them that I am infinitely easier to take care of than the thing. I know how to use a litter box (or the bathtub). I admit I’m demanding about food but I don’t ask for it as often as the thing (Editor’s note: yes, he does). I don’t like making ultimatums but if they had to choose between me and the thing, I think the choice is pretty obvious.
Chat-chat (and I’d like a real name, please)