Middle because lately my 39 year-old status is starting to weigh on me Rather the 40 that I will become next year. It's typical, I know It's just a number, I know. But numerical or not, these kinds of landmarks do make you think. It makes you take stock about what you've done and hope to do. In France, 40 is just about too late to change careers. Maybe in the US, too, but in my adopted country things are just so rigid. Jobs are scarce. Fifty is just about considered senior status. And though I have newfound pleasure in teaching and the creative outlet it gives me (read: getting to be a ham), there's part of me whispering, but what about that year you spent slaving in school to get your lab certification refreshed? Is it now or never? Is that still a viable and attractive option? Too many questions for an indecisive girl (oh, geez, at nearly 40, I suppose I should say "woman") like me.
And this middle thing isn't just about work. Those forehead wrinkles aren't getting any plumper. I inevitably compare myself to younger girls on TV or in real life and realize that I'm not getting any younger, as the saying goes. Vanity is getting the better of me lately. Getting older is harder on women, let's face it. Wrinkles don't make us more distinguished, just old.
The pink is from a pink soirée I attended last night that was a breast cancer benefit party. You were supposed to wear pink as this is the color for breast cancer awareness. A special shout-out to my aunt who bravely underwent a double mastectomy and reconstruction. I just threw on a pale pink cardigan I had but was tickled to see how some of the other ladies were dressed. Ice pink wigs and anything pink from their wardrobe or the dress-up store, including pink feather boas.
The theme was pink pirates and the organizers, mostly British women from the local British/Anglican social group, did a great job coming up with fun activities. You paid ten euros at the door and it was all for a good cause. I liked seeing how these British ladies have adapted to life here. Most were older, some considerably so than me, so it was a good chance to observe what other expats do/become as they stay in France. I always enjoy seeing how dynamic most British women are at any age and it was inspiring. These are women who are also far (though not quite as far as me) from home and they've become active and certainly have a happy outlook on life.
So I might be in the middle (and not so pleased about it) but I'll try to stay in the pink. If only because it's more flattering to the wrinkles!