My almost
ten-year old caught a feathery dandelion seed head and asked if it meant
anything. Perhaps it brings luck, I
said. She got quiet for a while then
said she had made a wish. “I hope it
comes true but I bet it won’t,” she said with a hint of melancholy. As she anchors herself into tweendom, I am
getting used to these melancholy bents.
But my
mom-dar is still too strong for her.
“You wished you could have Nikes, didn’t you?” I asked. Her sheepish smile confirmed my
suspicions.
These days
it seems name-brand shoes are all this girl has on the brain. For a while she couldn’t stop talking about
Adidas, then Nikes (which the French pronounce to rhyme with “bike”) and the
occasional All-Star reference, peppered with a bit of Puma and New Balance.
It’s not
that I am totally anti-brands. I love my ballerina style Skechers my mom sent
me a few years ago. But I wanted them
for the appearance and comfort. The fact
that they were Skechers just assured me of their quality. With my daughter this brand envy has come out
of nowhere and seems to be directly related to what she sees in the school
yard.
“Will you
get me Adidas for my birthday?” is a common refrain around here. Followed by “I bet you won’t.”
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| She cut out her own symbol |
“Wow, how
lucky that girl is, look at her Nikes!” she’ll
exclaim as we see a teen in the parking lot with pale pink on pink Nikes. She can spot brand name shoes on people on tv,
too.
I have
literally had to limit her to one shoe reference per day! But before that I tried a few other
strategies which proved to be pretty fruitless.
Let’s recap anyway:
Shaming
Taking a
page from my own mom’s book, I told her about kids who had no shoes or shoes in
pitiful condition. I even took to
finding her videos on youtube by typing (what else!) “kids with no shoes”. Just my luck, one of the videos I pulled up
showed poor Mexican children, one of whom was wearing a Nike shirt, which my
girl was quick to point out. Anyway, it
didn’t seem to have much of an effect on her.
Though now if she goes on about shoes and I ask her if she wants to
watch a video, it tends to calm her down a bit.
Non-conformity
talk
Of course I
tried the old “why do you have to do what everyone else is doing?” talk. Just because other kids wear something
doesn’t mean it’s the best quality or even attractive, I tried to reason with
her. For this point I showed her the saggy
jeans fashion that exposes men’s underwear.
She had a laugh at those pics and agreed that particular fashion was
stupid, but the shoe talk continued!
Mom stories
I read
recently that kids get a lot out of their parents’ personal stories. Or maybe not.
I told her how I was into Esprit clothes when I was in middle school but
how I generally only got a shirt from the bargain bin, because that’s all we
could afford. I can still remember a
shirt full of bright geometric shapes that screamed 80s. I mostly bought it for that little red
rectangle proclaiming Esprit. Frankly it
was loud and ugly, when I look back. I
told her in the end I realized I was following the crowd and that having your
own style is important.
Ignoring
When your
kid asks you over and over for Adidas in a five-minute period, using a tactic
she got from a ten-year old on tv, you just try to think of something else and
soldier on. It messes with your mind,
but this is good preparation for adolescence whining. When she says she’s so
unlucky for not having Nikes, I tell her she will survive.
Hard
work
I always
told myself once my kid started asking for brands that I would give him or her a
limited budget for school clothes shopping and tell them, that’s it, make it
work. But we’re not quite there
yet. In the meantime I try to remind her
of the value of her money by getting her to buy trinkets she wants at the store
from her own piggy bank money. She
recently got herself off-brand aqua All-star low tops at the discount store and
has been taking super care of them. My husband and I tell her she could get a
job later on as a teen or earn money for chores and use this to buy what she
wants.
You might
be asking me why I just don’t buy her the shoes she wants. One little pair, what’s the big deal? We just
don’t want her turning into a pretentious, name-dropper already. Or thinking that she gets whatever she asks
for immediately. She’s barely out of
fourth grade! We hope she will value what
she has.
So in the
end, my strategy is a modified “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” one. She may get what she wants but not right
away- a little delayed gratification. Don’t
tell her this, but she will very likely get some shoes for her birthday… but
we’ll buy large so they can last a while and she’ll hopefully take good care of
them.
Are your
kids into brands? What strategies do you
use?
