Meow's Side of the Story

Chat-chat here. Let me say that the arrival of this thing has been difficult to say the least. I thought I could put up with a lot, but even I am becoming sleep-deprived because of all this crying. And my sleep is of vital importance as I’m a supreme being (Editor’s note: cat). The thing takes up all the attention of my servants (Editor’s note: cat owners). Female servant used to spend all her free time with me, but now she seems to hiss at me (my job, not hers) if I dare to jump on the table (normal activity).

Take today for example. Apparently the thing had what’s called a diaper emergency. Female servant rushed leaking thing out of the room. She left her piece of quiche on the table (invitation). It’s only normal I should investigate. Being so very smart I knocked over the plate (without breaking it). And proceeded to sample the quiche on the floor. When she returned she slapped me on the cheek which is just not nice.

Then there’s all this new equipment in the apartment which I need to check out. The stroller and playpen, they’re called. They belong to me as far as I can see it. They are perfect sleeping places. But the servants had the gall to put a balloon in the playpen (to dissuade me from entering, which is my right) and when I jumped in it popped. I was so horrified I had to compose myself by resting in the litter box for a while.

So if they would just listen to me for a second, I could tell them that I am infinitely easier to take care of than the thing. I know how to use a litter box (or the bathtub). I admit I’m demanding about food but I don’t ask for it as often as the thing (Editor’s note: yes, he does). I don’t like making ultimatums but if they had to choose between me and the thing, I think the choice is pretty obvious.

Chat-chat (and I’d like a real name, please)

My side of the story

Mom won’t let me have my own blog so I’ve got to use hers. Next thing she’ll be telling me no cell phone before 5 years old. First of all, has anyone seen my other shoe? I think I lost it on that stroll in the park last Sunday. It’s not my fault they put shoes on me. It’s not like I can walk yet. It’s purely decorative. Just like pockets on my dresses. But I was hoping to get a bit more wear out of those shoes before my feet grow too much.

Secondly, for someone who was a baby herself, mom doesn’t know much about them. I mean, it’s pretty simple. There’s the hunger cry, the sleep cry, the I-don’t-want-to-sleep-now cry. The my-diaper’s-dirty cry, the I-preferred-my-diaper-dirty cry. Well, I guess I need to make her a list.

Then there’s this obsession of hers about sleep. I’ll sleep when I want. See the part about the crying. For nine months she didn’t bug me about this, now it’s every minute! I think it’s getting to her ‘cause she’s been sneaking off for pieces of dark chocolate when she thinks I’m not looking. That’s not good for her figure, I know that much, even if I am just a baby.

Oops, she’s coming. I guess I’ll have to end this for now.

Baby

When does she sleep?

Was reading in a little booklet about babies from age one to two months. They say they sleep 16-20 hours a day, from feeding to feeding. They haven't met my baby. This has got me worried. Is she getting enough milk? She certainly takes her time at feedings. I certainly offer her a lot. But it's quite rare that she falls asleep and more importantly stays asleep after a feeding.

What do you get when an Anxiety Prone Mom and Perfectionist-but-he-won't-admit-it Papa have a child? Super Alert Baby. Take a look at her sort of smiling. I guess only a mom would qualify it as sort of smiling.

In between

I don't have full out baby blues, but motherhood isn't always rose, either. Last night I started feeling rather down, and I think sleep deprivation has a lot to do with it. Wondering if it will ever get better. If I'll ever have days when I can really accomplish what I set out to do. Believe me, my list isn't as long as it was pre-baby, but it just seems to take forever to do the littlest things. I have let housework go, and perhaps I spend a bit too much of my precious free time online. But I need an outlet. I need to stay connected to the old me who is still me, after all.

Those pregnancy hormones were powerful, I can see that now. I remember driving to work and practically humming, seeing things so very positively. I imagined life with baby as always good because she would be there, of course. After being so superstitious during pregnancy, I told myself as long as she was here, I would be happy. And of course I am happy she's here, and healthy and precious and all those things. But I know (as I knew in the back of mind anyway) that having a child doesn't magically fix all your woes. You still have the unstable, low-paying job. You still have to deal with domestic overload and taxes and disputes about what's for dinner. (Though my husband has been cooking most of the time now, which helps out a lot.) And that pesky cat who is ALWAYS underfoot. But don't get me wrong, I am very conscious of how lucky I am to have a little one. It's just human nature to complain.

And French administration gives me ample reasons to complain! Though it was quite easy to apply for my visa, retrieving it has been infernal. The first time I lugged baby there in her sling with a chance of rain, thus my bulky umbrella in tow. Only to find out that Wednesdays in August the office for purchasing the fiscal "stamp" was closed. Due to reduced personnel in that month of eternal vacations. Then another day only to find that the other office I needed was closed in the afternoons for renovation. Third time's a charm: today, finally got the durn thing. Saw my favorite smiley fonctionnaire (civil servant) who even jokes about being one (I'm serious about him being my favorite). Said, you see, we fonctionnaires do work. Until 1 p.m., I joked back, since they're closed in the afternoon. Met an Algerian couple with their two little ones. The mom said her little Sabrina started sleeping through the night at 1 and a half months. So jealous.

Please take a nap on my behalf.

Tales from the baby front

So the only way for me to write this is with baby cradled (safely) on my lap. Since I last wrote, the nursing has become easier though not without little difficulties. I have to say I'm glad I stuck it out after such a rocky start though. At the beginning I was pumping in the hospital and she was given the milk in a little cup or bottle (and you can see my favorite midwife feeding her way back when). Now we can do it without all those unnecessary steps!

As for the night battles, well, sometimes she wakes me for a brief (hour) feeding, or like last night, 2 and 1/2 hours of wakefullness. Hmm. I'm praying for the day she sleeps through the night. In the meantime I'm sleepy in the day. When she finally settles for some napping herself I must prioritize and do the following: eat, sleep, bathe, email, whatever I haven't been able to do while she was awake. Housework is still low on the priority list. Or I put her in her crib even if she's fussy and do microtasks. Clean the sink, load the washer. The apartment is still far from clean. But as my auntie said, a happy baby is more important than a clean house.

Here in France the kids are starting to go back to school. It always makes me feel nostalgic for my own school days and that fall feeling in the air. This year there's no school or work right away, though my own return to work will be in about six weeks. I'm already feeling rather torn between finding my old independent self and being a full-time mom. Financially I must go back, and I know baby will have a good, state-approved sitter. But I've already found myself getting teary about it. Separation anxiety on my side.

Chat-chat continues to be his pesty self. Sometimes a bit too curious about the stroller as you can see here. No babies were harmed in the taking of this picture. He doesn't know how close he's come to being abandoned when he decides to jump on the door handle at 4:30 a.m. and I've just gotten bb to sleep! Or his continual obsession with peeing in the tub. Sometimes I swear he looks at me when baby's crying and says, are you sure you wanted that thing? My husband tries to spend some time cuddling him so he won't feel left out.

Well, who knows when I'll be able to post again. I'll let baby sign off for me.

The new insomnia

Have got a video of baby I added but it took forever to load being an AVI format. Does anybody know how to reduce the size of videos? And with what software? Listen carefully for the sound of chimes, Chat-chat's bell and the ambulance siren.

Still basically no time for anything here in my new role as mommy. I sacrifice my sleep during her nap times to run errands that I can't avoid. She has that annoying (but of course we love you, baby) habit of waking up when we put her in her crib, despite seeming passed out to the world seconds before. The baby sling is coming in handy to lull her to sleep while I go about some of my normal household activities. No heavy duty things though. I can actually put my contacts in while she's in the sling. Get some stuff out of the fridge.


The other night she kept me (and my husband for part of the time) awake for nearly 3 hours. During the wonderful hours between 2 to 5. It'd be different if she'd just feed and sleep. But it's continual feeding or stop and start or I don't know what. I still don't speak Baby so I haven't finetuned her needs. Last night she was polite enough to wait till about 5 to do this. Husband has the bright idea now to go sleep on the couch when she has that wee hour waking. What a guy. He has given a bottle or two, to his credit, plus help with chores, etc. Yes, you see, since the lactation nurse saw the baby wasn't gaining and might have lost at one point, she instructed us to give her some formula. Later my pediatrician said he didn't like this idea as that wasn't going to increase my milk supply if ever that was the problem. Now she's back on mother's milk, some of which I pump to give her a boost at strategic times like midnight (so she'll maybe sleep till 3 or 4). Nursing is proving to be complicated for something that's supposed to be super natural and easy.

I complain, but I'm sure all new moms do. There are times when she's really cute and alert like in this video. And of course we're so happy to have her. We're just adjusting. And that's never been one of my strong points. I knew babies were a lot of work, especially at the beginning. I just figured there would be more times where I could really do other things. There are some times, but with her not sleeping well in the crib, I must carry her around and can't very well sleep in those times. Don't even get me started on housework. The scumminess of my floors is really starting to get to me. And I was never the cleanest person, but I do like a minimum. I can't very well do the dishes and risk getting hot water on the baby in her sling.

Oh, yes, so that paragraph was supposed to be positive. Hmm, she really is a cutie, and we like to play with her, as much as you can play with a four-week old. Still not sure who she looks like. Or what color her hair will really be. All that will come later. Something to look forward to.

She's here!

Baby is sleeping after her last feeding. Husband too since he kindly stayed wakeful to coax baby girl into feeding well (kind of sort of worked) and also to watch the impressive thunderstorm. It's still rumbling lightly but I chanced it to tend to my abandoned blog.

So as most of you know baby arrived July 22. About 6 pounds and 6 ounces. She's still a tiny thing and in fact hasn't regained her birth weight (they often lose 10% those first days). It being a C-section for me and her being a light weight made nursing difficult at the beginning. Plus it's all new to me. Little darling is perhaps a bit lazy (like her mom) in really getting down to business. There were some times when they gave her my milk or formula in a bottle at the hospital so she might be craving the easy life of the artificial nipple. I try not to project too much frustration on her, but when she "plays" 30 minutes to an hour before really feeding, I can get a bit frazzled. When she really feeds and then sleeps hard afterwards, I feel ok. We're still getting there.

Chat-chat seems to be adjusting fairly well to not being baby # 1 anymore. There were some moments when he sniffed frantically on the couch. He's mostly playing the indifference card. He's still mellower since his balcony jump. Perhaps it did him some good...

Mom and sis and hubby have been ever so helpful around the house and at mealtimes. I've hardly had to lift a finger, which is good since I can't really lift anything with this dang C-section recovery. Not even the cat. I wasn't disappointed when my OB/GYN told me she was going to "get the baby" for me, maybe the lazy part of me was a little happy I wasn't going to be pushing away. But I didn't realize how painful the day after would be and that there would be so many precautions to take for weeks to come. Again, that's why my family has been a real godsend.

Well, when baby gives me time to blog again, I will relate more exciting details to you.